The Source | From the Author
One of the challenges I faced while writing this memoir was how to tell my story without naming any characters.
Early on, one reviewer suggested: “Just give everyone a name.”
I wanted to focus entirely on raw human behavior, free from upfront prejudice or premature judgment. If I name a character "Emily," and you happen to know an Emily—someone you love, or someone who hurt you—that name carries baggage. Would it color your judgment before you even read my story, or turn your pre-existing feelings completely upside down afterwards? Worse yet, if you meet a new Emily in the future, would my story haunt your perception of her?
To keep the narrative objective, I decided to call no names and refer to characters with their roles: the supervisor, the old associate, the new leader. Not everyone fits neatly into a static role, and when multiple people occupy the same position over time, 'old' or 'new' feels stiff. For a few specific scenes, the role names began to smother the emotional truth, distracting from the core ethos, pathos, and logos of the experience.
So, I tried a shortcut with “pal.”
I knew it wasn't a perfect fit. By definition, a pal is a close friend—and the character I was writing about was not… exactly so. To me, they were simply an individual, a fellow human being in that space—and words like "buddy" felt too casually familiar, while "acquaintance" still implied a personal connection that didn't exist. “Pal” seemed to survive with some reviewers. Until another reviewer finally drew a line in the sand: “You just cannot use this word.”
I tried to learn more. They immediately explained that to a modern reader, pal sounds like a line from a cheesy Kung Fu movie or an aggressive bar fight: “Listen here, pal.” The feedback wrapped up with a blunt ultimatum: “If you keep 'pal,' you’re on your own.” It made me laugh, but it also made me think. Why is it so hard to simply refer to a human being objectively?
… And sometimes, the simple solution already sits in the problem: What is the point I’m trying to make here? It doesn’t target any individual or… person…
Oh, that word!