Rising above the Drama

Originally Published: June 30, 2026

It is vital to know how to clarify our message. But it is even more critical to uphold our values—to retain trust and empathy—even when delivering a brief message. We do this not just for others, but for ourselves.

Some childhood memories with high school friends came back to me. When we were teenagers, I heard gossip about myself from a friend, "A," and another friend, "B," was involved. When I tried to ask A about it directly, she blatantly hid from me.

Decades passed, and we crossed paths only a few times. Then, years later, she suddenly jumped in front of me at a grocery store. In an intimidating tone, she asked if I recognized her. She invited me to visit her house in another city. Standing there in my city, I chose to skip the chance to do the same—I did not invite her to mine. When she asked for my phone number, I gave it to her.

Days later, she texted me saying that "C," one of my old friends, had asked her for my number. I gave her my permission. She then asked for my family member's number, claiming that X—their friend—wanted it. Even though they are my family, I still asked their permission first. Shortly after, A replied with thanks, confirming she would give C my number. I wondered why she didn't just pass it along and let C contact me, or simply say "done."

(As a side note, I later learned from another friend that when someone asks them for my number, they politely tell them, "I will pass your number along to her" instead.) 

A few years later, I met C at a small reunion party. A was also there. During a warm conversation, C suddenly became upset with me, accusing me of telling A not to give her my phone number.

I paused and looked around the room. Silence fell over the entire sofa where we sat. A was sitting on the floor right in front of us. I asked her directly: "Why didn't you give C my phone number?"

She hung her head, staring down at her cell phone, and muttered: "You told me not to give it to her." She repeated what C had just said—confirming the false account she had told C. Everyone around us seemed to be waiting for my response, waiting for the truth.

The friend sitting next to me stared at the screen with me. I scrolled down and found A’s text thanking me and saying she would share my number with C. In that moment, I didn't take time to weigh options; I just quickly scrolled up to my actual response, showing where I told A to share my number with C. The friend next to me read the message aloud. Instantly, the tension broke. Everyone seemed happy and forgot the incident.

Except for one final detail: A had parked her car directly behind mine. When I needed to leave early, she ran away and hid until I had to ask another friend to find her and request that she back up.

A few years later, B—who was involved in A's gossip about me decades earlier—contacted me. It turned out C had given B my number without my permission, perhaps under A's direction. 

Why did A still act like a teenager? There could be many reasons, but none of them is important enough to analyze. I decided to bypass the temptation to use her own words as blunt evidence to bring her face straight down. Instead, I focused simply on showing my reply so C could see the truth. Faced with slander in a challenging situation, I hoped I wouldn't regret reacting with an empathetic and generous heart.

      We don’t need to overthink it; one kind thought, a nice word, or a simple gesture can change someone’s life, reflect in our life, and in doing so, it changes the world.

— Chapter 20, "Recollection of Old Story for New Conclusion"

Warmly,